Today Cee can sit up. That’s an improvement from yesterday when she couldn’t do anything but lay. We can all use a breather from the constant pain. She still can’t walk, but we’ll take every grace that comes, even if it’s small. She’s been able to color, read books, and play from her place on the couch.
Swimming therapy has given me some time to think. There isn’t much else to do as I wait for Cee, and there isn’t any other time during the day to think. It works out well. Today I was thinking about how this has stretched us.
There are the little things–like cooking vegetables I never gave a chance before. Then there are the big things–like showing emotions to strangers or asking others for help. This whole experience has been a series of stretches.
All this stretching has taught us a lot.
1. Unconditional love is easy until life gets tough. Unconditional love is being able to look at someone who is completely rejecting you and love them anyway, knowing you won’t get anything in return. We’ve had many chances to practice unconditional love with Cee.
2. The big F’s (faith and family) are the only way to survive.
3. Special needs do not diminish a person’s value. Someone who isn’t “normal” is not a second class citizen.
David and I are just regular people. I know I’ve heard, “It takes someone special to raise a special needs child.” That’s true, but it’s MORE accurate to say, “It makes someone special to raise a special needs child.”
Cee’s illness has changed us. We wouldn’t have ever asked for this, but we’re better people because of it. Easy isn’t always better.
Okay. This is a good ending point. So stop reading.
Don’t read any further.
David and I have been mulling over the idea of Reece’s Rainbow for a few years now. From the first time I heard about it, it’s been on my heart. DO NOT check out the website, unless you want it to be on your heart, too. For all of you with the good sense not to look, Reece’s Rainbow is an organization that helps with adoption costs for families looking to adopt a child with special needs.
The website has pictures and bios of many, many kids who are waiting for their forever family. We have no illusions about how hard it would be to pursue, but we also know we have no idea of the blessings it would bring. For quite awhile, we’ve been discerning both if it’s something we’re called to, and if so, when.
Since Cee has been sick, I’ve wondered where that leaves us as far as discernment. The other day I said to David, “Maybe this is our sign that we aren’t called to adopt. Maybe this was God’s way of saying we couldn’t handle it.” We discern all our decisions together, but in this particular discussion, I’m more enthusiastic. David’s response surprised me. “Well, maybe this is preparing us for that, showing us we could.” Indeed. Thinking about what we’ve learned from Cee’s illness, it really could be preparing us for that reality. We’ll keep praying.
For those of you poor schmucks who looked at the website, I’m sorry. Your heart won’t be the same. I’d like to mention that many of these kiddos waiting are able to be adopted by single parents, older parents, or large families.
Cee is worth the effort. She is worth the anguish. Providing her unconditional love and meeting her ever-evolving needs have been taxing. But we are dying to self and better living out John 3:30. All the kids on Reece’s Rainbow are worth it, too. Easy isn’t always better.
By sharing this, I hope encourage others to be open to wherever God is calling. Maybe that means browsing Reece’s Rainbow and asking, “Is God calling me to you?”