worry

Momsolation

,

Carrots recently posted all the thoughts on the tough job of being a mother in today’s world.  Here’s a thought that’s going to stay with me:   Maybe we are not super heroes. Maybe we are not robots. Maybe just maybe we are human women who need good food, exercise, occasional silence, friendship, a night […]

First Communion

,

Today was a big day, because Cee received her First Communion!  It was a happy, happy day. Cee looked beautiful, and she was so excited to receive Jesus. Whew.  We didn’t know if we would make it to this point.  There were times we honest-to-goodness didn’t know if Cee would make it to ANY of the milestones we […]

That Day or Hour

, , ,

  Cee is at the hospital with David getting her most recent infusion.  She still has that lingering cough, but the rheumatologist said to go ahead with the infusion as scheduled.  So we did.  We can’t risk putting it off indefinitely because of one isolated symptom.  Infusions have become pretty routine, but the cough throws a wrench […]

Veronica

,

We drew bloodwork today in preparation for Mayo next week.  It was awful.  Cee’s anxiety level was through the roof, and she screamed through the whole procedure. The nurse called me with a few of the results.  Today Cee’s  inflammation level is 4x higher than the last levels that David and I remember.   The nurse was sympathetic and mentioned that that was […]

Cee had some good moments yesterday.  We went to the magician hosted by the library.  My sister brought over some kazoos (which the girls love, love, love!). But other than that, things continue to unravel.  Cee picked at her food all day.  She doesn’t want to go to the bathroom.  Apparently she didn’t get the memo […]

Life is so much better than it was a couple months ago.  It’s been so nice that I’ve been lulled into a false sense of security with Cee’s health.  We’re dealing with a flare up today that has brought me back to reality.  And panic. These things have been hard today: *taking medicine *eating anything *dressing […]

The Saddest Room

  Early on in Cee’s illness, I think one of my lowest lows came in what I called “The Saddest Room.” Cee had been taken into an operating room for her bone marrow biopsy.  Only one person could be with her as she went under anesthesia.  The nurse told me to follow her and my mom and David […]

"Mommy, am I going to die?"

  The first time we went to Cee’s primary care doctor for all this, way back in January, Cee said to me, “Mommy, am I going to die?”  Right there in the waiting room, we talked about how everyone will die some day, and how if one stays close to Jesus, it’s actually a happy time.  Cee has always been comforted by […]

…because it made me paranoid. I’ve got enough regular stuff to worry about without being concerned that: -The hospital will have an outbreak of Ebola, and we’ll be put under lockdown. -I’ll go to the bathroom and Cee will go from fine to cardiac arrest. -Cee’s condition will be stable, but during a routine test David […]