Teaching My Kids the “A” Word

A couple weeks ago some of our extended family traveled to Washington D.C. for the March for Life. I contemplated how to explain the trip to my children who didn’t yet understand words like “abortion” or “euthanasia.”

I wondered about the right timing and the right words. I worried about assaulting their innocence. But it felt like time.

Having seen plenty of pregnant people around, my kids understand the gist of gestating. They’ve seen ultrasound pictures, so there’s some frame of reference. One night after dinner, I took a deep breath and brought it up.

We talked about where our family members were “vacationing,” and why they were protesting. The way we approach every topic with our kids is to give them a little bit of information, let them mull it over, and then honestly answer any questions that they have. That’s how it worked this time, too.

I said the word. Abortion. I explained it in a sentence and left it at that. I told my kids that we are praying for the conversion of hearts and for the changing of laws.

“But YOU wouldn’t do that, would you?” Elle asked. No. I wouldn’t. But that’s not a fair question. My job doesn’t depend on me *not* being pregnant. I have access to medical care and a safe place to live. My partner isn’t abusive. I’m not worried about losing a scholarship or missing out on my dreams. I am so grateful for these privileges.

My kids have seen the crib at church set up to collect clothes, diapers, blankets, and more for babies. My kids have toured the local food pantry. They have sorted through toys, books, and clothes to donate to families who might need them more. They understand that we contribute to our church’s mission school in Haiti.

Learning the word “abortion” was just the latest step in our attempt to cultivate a comprehensive pro-life attitude in our family.

After Mass this weekend, I saw a stack of these prayer cards on the table.

I grabbed a stack for home. That night I explained that we could spiritually adopt a baby who was in danger of being aborted. We would pray for our babies every day for nine months with the hope that he or she would be born and cared for.

I’m not sure I did a great job in the intro. The kids were a little fuzzy on when we would get to meet our babies. Oops. David let them know that we wouldn’t until heaven. (Quite the delayed gratification for a project!) We won’t ever know who or where they are. For a bunch of kids who enjoy babies, this was disappointing. But they recovered quickly when they learned that everyone would pick a name for their baby.

Here’s what we came up with:

Moe – John
Cee – Mary
Elle – Alice
Bea – Lucy
David – Edward
Alicia – Rose

(Sounds like a cast list from the new Downton Abbey movie, or maybe characters in a lost Chronicles of Naria book.)

We committed to praying for our babies every day from now until November 3rd, 2019.

I wish I could call blogger extraordinaire Kelly Mantoan my good friend, but if I’m going to be honest I’m just a big fan. Read her quote below about serious prenatal diagnoses, and you’ll see why:

This post is not me simply waxing poetic. I will personally help you. Email me and I will connect you with a woman you can talk to about your specific pregnancy issue. […] I will help you find the resources in your area if you need a doctor or government assistance. If you need an adoptive family, I volunteer mine! but I can also point you to agencies that can help you set up a plan to place your child. If you’re a reader who is willing to do the same for other women, get the word out. Share that you’re a person a women in crisis can come to for help so no one needs to feel alone if they want to choose life for their baby.

Read the rest here.



Amen!

If I was clever I’d come up with some sort of catchphrase or hashtag to summarize Kelly’s thoughts. If I was techie I’d create some sort of facebook overlay for profile pictures. If I was an influencer, I’d start a movement.

But I’m not. All I can do is proclaim from my teeny-tiny blog that my family stands with the Mantoans and scores of others who are waiting with arms outstretched to women in crisis.

We are here. We can help.

Maybe that means researching resources. Maybe it means asking acquaintances about job opportunities or daycare availability. Maybe it means helping facilitate a move to a different state. Maybe it means volunteering to adopt. If someone with these or other obstacles to choosing life reaches out, we will help.

I taught my kids about abortion with the hope that through our prayers and effort, someday that “choice” will become obsolete. Women deserve support. Women deserve options.

We are here. We can help.





– How have you made it known that you are a “practicing pro-lifer” willing to help a woman in crisis?
– How do you cultivate authentic pro-life attitudes in your family?