Family Connections: Church

Kids do best with boundaries. Clear boundaries. And expectations.

Case in point: The River Story

We met some friends at a new park last summer. There was a playground, an open soccer field-ish area, and a tree-lined river snaking along the edge.

The kids started out on the play equipment, but after awhile they ended up in open grassy area.

Watching my kids run around and burn up energy is a big joy for me as a mother. I smile at them and wave thinking, “You’ll sleep past five a.m. tomorrow for sure!”

As my kids ran around with their friends (and I chatted with mine), I danced inside with delight at my ability to probably sleep past 5:30.

I settled in to feed the baby and looked up to check on the kids. The older kids had gone back to the play equipment AND THE YOUNGER ONES WERE IN THE TREES BY THE RIVER!

Another mother jumped up and headed over to see what the kids in the trees were doing and to herd them back to the playground.

She came back after hustling the children to safety and reported that Moe was not yet in the river, but he went the closest.

So much for sleeping well. That night I couldn’t sleep for all the imagining what could have happened.

It occurred to me: I hadn’t told them ahead of time.
I assumed that they would see the river as a reasonable border and play within the safe areas.

Nope.

Since they are children they saw the trees and thought “Boy, that looks like fun!”

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much good boundaries play a role in a healthy, happy life. Eventually I came to the conclusion that many of our family boundaries come from our Church.

They provide the structure of our lives. We don’t kill people. We don’t steal or tell lies. We try to take care of our earth and the people on it.

Maybe this is all just common sense, but like the kids deciding to play at the river, maybe we need it spelled out very clearly ahead of time.

The common thread of faith ties us together as a family. It guides our life choices. It sets a rhythm to our days and weeks and years. It gives us boundaries so we can be happy in our life.

Sure, it might be possible to figure out a core code of conduct as a family that doesn’t involve Christianity, but why reinvent the wheel? There is such beauty and peace that comes from 2,000+ years of tradition.

There are times that the kids balk at the boundaries. They get frustrated at the admonition to return to the playground and leave the river. They roll their eyes and stomp their feet. They don’t understand all the dumb limitations being put on their lives.

To be fair, there are times that I roll my eyes and stomp my feet at what I’m being called to do, too. With Cee’s illness I wondered constantly what the point was in all this suffering. The struggle to understand is ongoing.

I can’t control all the life choices that my children will make, but I can help them practice living within the loving boundaries of the Church in hopes that it will guide their lives in the future and be a source of joy and peace during the trials they will face.


Ultimately, our faith connects us with common values, common traditions, and common boundaries and makes us stronger as a family.

Catch the rest of the series:

Family Connections ABCs: Simple Ways to Grow in Joy
A: Apologizing
B: Book Club
C: Church

Linking up with Kelly since it’s Friday, and Lori for Blogging Through the Alphabet!