MSB {4}: Of Baskets and Beetles

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This is my Sunday best for the week.  If you’re actually interested in the details, here’s the scoop.

My Sunday Best6

My parents offered to watch Bea during Mass, so I was able to wear a necklace!  Fancy, right?  On to more interesting Sundayness.

It’s become a thing among the kids that they MUST TOUCH THE BASKET passed during offering time.  There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth if certain kids are bypassed in the basket passing process.

(Last week the basket went down our pew, and a certain child wasn’t paying attention.  A certain child missed touching the basket due to her own inattentiveness.  But a certain child was not satisfied by this explanation when she realized she DID NOT GET TO TOUCH THE BASKET as the gifts were being brought up.  Intense sulking commenced.  This certain child could teach a master class on The Art of Sulking.  Le sigh.)

This week I was on top of it and made sure everyone got a chance to pass the basket.  I figured the rest of Mass would go smoothly because I efficiently solved our problem from last week.  Without the distraction of Bea, I was prepared to continue discussing transubstantiation with Moe.

But there was no cheese talk this week, because me and Moe- – – we were focused on wrestling.

Wrestling?  Wrestling.

Moe noticed a beetle in the pew behind us, and I had to try to keep him from hurling himself over the pew to “Mash it with my shoe!”  Thus, instead of quietly discussing cheese theology this week, Moe and I wrestled.

Moe “The Slippery Tornado” and I “The Sleep-Deprived Momster” battled to the death WWF style right there in front of God and everyone.  Except maybe not to the death.

I told Moe that he managed to kill the beetle, but we didn’t see the body.  He was very concerned about wanting to see proof.  “Let me see!” he kept not whispering while clawing at the kneeler, Cee, my feet, and anything else that kept him from a clear view of the floor.

Folks – – I think I lied in Church.  At Mass.  Because I assured Moe that the beetle was dead and probably under Cee’s shoe.  But there was no body.

(I actually was hoping to see a body or remains, because it was a decent size beetle.  Skinnier than a June bug but about as long.  Not the sort of thing you want crawling up your leg during Mass.)

“His body isn’t here?!?!”  Umm.  Are we talking about Jesus or the beetle, because  I’m not sure how to answer.  “It’s under Cee’s shoe,” or “He rose from the dead and is in Heaven now.”  See how knowing whose body we’re talking about makes a difference?

Fortunately my maybe-lie worked, and Moe moved on to making quiet spit bubbles.  First-time-mom me would have shushed him and stopped the spit bubbling, but fourth-time-mom me was grateful for the reprieve.  Bubble away, Slippery Tornado.  I’ll get you next time.

Check out other Sunday survival inspirational stories at Rosie’s

12 Comments


  1. // Reply

    You go, girl, fourth-time mama. Fifth-time mama here would have considered spit bubbles a win at that point too. Today during Mass, my 11-month-old screamed almost the whole time–second week in a row when I couldn’t even stay in the cry room, couldn’t even stay outdoors because everyone indoors could hear us. And this week I actually cried, and I’m pretty dead to this stuff after five babies. Maybe in another decade I’ll be able to attend Mass.


    1. // Reply

      Why, why, why do our kids have to help us learn humility in front of all those people? I have to tell myself that the harder it is to get through Mass, the more graces are gained. Hang in there!


  2. // Reply

    You look great, Alicia! I love the style of your dress. 🙂
    And OH MY GOODNESS- yes, the basket! Our oldest had a near meltdown today over that. Thank the Lord there was a second collection, but really why must it be such a big deal?!


    1. // Reply

      It would make sense if they actually had anything to contribute, but we haven’t had the kids make an offering since The Great Quarter Disaster of 2014. Now we just contribute automatically through our bank and call it good.


  3. // Reply

    Tee hee! This first time mama would have melted–MELTED–into the floor and have never been seen again! I am in awe that you survived!


    1. // Reply

      I can pretend that it’s intentional parenting, but it’s really just being tired.


  4. // Reply

    Hahaha! I love the bug story. We had a giant bug on one of the girls a couple weeks ago and I knocked it onto the floor and smushed it with my foot and then kicked it away where we couldn’t see it… “I don’t see it anywhere! I guess it must be gone!” I mean, not technically lying, because I *couldn’t* see it, right? Never a dull moment!


    1. // Reply

      Ugh. I wish I could have just smashed it myself. Would have made the wrestling match end so much sooner!


  5. // Reply

    Oh please do tell us about the Great Quarter Disaster of 2014!!!


  6. // Reply

    I saw your other post about your dress and now I REALLY want one! So cute. They’re totally on sale right now too…now to decide if I’d be happy with the either of the only 2 in my size! Thanks for the info 🙂


    1. // Reply

      They are on sale! I’m trying to decide if I should buy more, or just be content with the ones I have…


  7. // Reply

    hahahahaha, love this. You look so cute and I love that bright cardigan! My kids do that too with the collection basket!!!

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