MSB {5}: The Pew Boss

,

My Sunday Best with The Pew Boss

MSB {5}

I have enjoyed linking up with My Sunday Best because it’s a means to swap Mass survival stories.

But– I’m getting a little tired of posting the same picture of myself over and over.  I <3 Lands’ End and have been rotating their fit and flare dresses all summer.  (They are still on sale, and today only there’s a 30% off coupon code, if you’ve been thinking about trying one!)

Someday my kids will be going through all the pictures on the computer and be like, “Why are there 800 awkward pictures of Mom in the same dress? And no other pictures of her ever?”  Indeed.

Enough awkward pictures; on to the survival story.

 

David was assigned to lector at Mass on Sunday.  Lulled into a false sense of security by several weeks of tolerable Mass behavior, we decided to go as a family.

As David did all his lectorly preparation before Mass, I ushered the girls into a pew and then motioned for Moe to join us.

I could practically see him dig in his heals.  “I want to sit over here,” he said, gesturing across the aisle to another pew.

At that pivotal moment I was faced with the choice of making the girls stand up and move to another pew because Moe said so or convincing Moe to sit with us.

I chose wrong, folks, and regretted it.

“Moe, come sit here.  The girls are already sitting,” I whisper-said trying to hold Bea while massaging the pew like I was on the Price is Right.  So inviting.  So comfortable.  Oooh…the pew-iest of the pews, right here.

He crossed his arms and firmly replied, “Then I’m going to go to the car.”  Without any further discussion, he marched out of the sanctuary.

I called his bluff.  I figured when confronted with the hoard of people coming in at the last minute, he’d be right back.

So I sat with Bea and waited.  And waited.  My confidence wilted.

Glancing back in the direction Moe had marched out, I saw he wasn’t there.   He was gone.  Realizing that I had made another serious error, I rushed out of the sanctuary, Bea in my arms, without giving the girls an explanation.

In the gathering space of the church, I saw several people looking bewildered.  Then they noticed me.  “I think you lost one,” said one person, pointing outside.

Sure enough, there was Moe – – clomping determinedly toward our car.  By the time I reached him, he had actually opened the van door and was sitting inside.

So I pulled out my negotiation skills and got Moe back into the church building, but he was NOT going to sit in that pew.  I cut my losses and we spent most of Mass in the back.

I heard the Gospel.  I heard the homily.  I received the Eucharist.  I did not murder anyone.  All in all, it was a successful Mass.

 

The thought of next week fills me with dread.  Do I just let him pick the pew?  By telling him where to sit am I stifling his creativity or enforcing boundaries?


Pollyanna was one of my favorite movies growing up.  And a quote from the movie (maybe the book?  I haven’t read it…) seems to be fitting.

Angelica the maid: What’s so good about Sunday?
Pollyanna:  …it will be six whole days before Sunday comes around again.

There you have it.  I for one am glad it will be six whole days before Sunday comes around again.

 

 

Want to make sure to find out what Moe tries to flush down the potty next?  Don’t miss out!  Subscribe via email above or follow along with bloglovin or facebook.

 

16 Comments


  1. // Reply

    Alicia,

    I, too, find one Mass outfit that makes me look halfway decent and I just stick with it. Very little variation for me! But, think, do you imagine that the other men are commenting, “Oh, look at Bob! He’s wearing that same navy blue suit and white shirt as last week! Loser!”

    I applaud you for even trying to do Mass as a family while your husband had a duty to fulfill. Brave woman, indeed.

    Katherine


    1. // Reply

      Thanks, Katherine. I’ve found it empowering to waste no time choosing an outfit for Mass. I do feel silly in taking a picture of myself. These dresses are definitely my version of the navy suit! 🙂


  2. // Reply

    Oh Moe… I figured out many years ago that letting John Paul pick the pew was the only possible route to success, but I had veto power and he learned to deal with that pretty well as he got older, thankfully!


  3. // Reply

    I love Pollyanna!

    We had a strangely good mass with the 4 and almost 2 year old. I count good as not needing to take anyone out for over the top behavior.

    Doing Pants-Free July with Rosie at A Blog for My Mom has meant I have WAY more pictures of me than usual. That and having a 4 year old who can take pictures with my phone. Yea helpful skills!


    1. // Reply

      I hope that’s how this game works out. 🙂


  4. // Reply

    I love this: “I heard the Gospel. I heard the homily. I received the Eucharist. I did not murder anyone. All in all, it was a successful Mass.”

    How true! 🙂

    That dress looks lovely on you! Once I find something that works, I always stick with it! It makes life much easier!


  5. // Reply

    hahahhaha, I love this. Kids can be SO stubborn. It’s crazy! I love your Pollyanna quote at the end. One of my favorite movies ever.


    1. // Reply

      Thanks for stopping by! I just finished reading through all the name suggestions from Sancta Nomina for your little one. Can’t wait to hear what you choose. 🙂


  6. // Reply

    “I heard the Gospel. I heard the homily. I received the Eucharist. I did not murder anyone. All in all, it was a successful Mass.”

    I loved that line. That pretty much sums up my mass as well!

    Also, I too wear the same things to mass every Sunday, so my kids will have the same confusion going through pictures on the computer. 🙂


  7. // Reply

    I have one black maternity dress so I can see that being my go to for the next few months. Of course with a different scarf and cardigan it’s never the “same”. I guess Moe- just like my boys– like to be a leader or in charge of something. Have control of something… Maybe it’s one of his first steps in practicing future”head of the household-ness”. It could become his very own special job and service to your family to pick the pew each week. I should try that with my almost 5 yo. That might make him feel he has a special part in the Mass each Sunday….


    1. // Reply

      That is a great idea. He really can just be The Pew Boss!


  8. // Reply

    I love your survival story. Solidarity! We all have those Sundays more often than we would like. Maybe next time you just need to sell the pew a little harder? Put on a sparkly evening gown while you model it, perhaps?


    1. // Reply

      Elbow gloves. Next time I’ll bring elbow gloves.


  9. // Reply

    I like the comment about practising being head of the household. I might try that. My daughter loudly, often rudely, critiques that homily during mass. “He is boring.”, “His jokes aren’t funny.”


    1. // Reply

      Oh no! It’s tough to explain how even though some things might be true, we still can’t say them. In public.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *