MSB {14}: The Great Pew Slither

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This is a recycled picture, but the outfit is exactly the same.  My kids couldn’t figure out the camera this week, so I gave up after 10 pictures of the ceiling fan, just my head, just my torso…you get the idea.

 

The last time I linked up for My Sunday Best, the title of my post was “Not the Worst Ever.”  While this week wasn’t the worst ever Mass experience we had (there was The Great Diaper Incident of 2015), it’s a contender.  Definitely in the running.  Top 5 for sure.

 

I was in the back of the church for the last 3/4 of the service because Bea is no longer content to cuddle through Mass.  I was bouncing Bea around, but I wasn’t looking around because I was trying to be prayerful.  Somehow I did happen to catch David receiving the Eucharist and returning to our pew.

Oddly, David was looking around.  Confused.  I assumed he went into the wrong pew or something the way he was awkwardly standing and looking around when he should have been kneeling.

Then I figured it out.  You haven’t lived until you’ve returned from Communion to find your 3 year old tornado missing from the pew. 

Missing.

Gone.

Desaparecido.

I don’t know how David figured out that Moe had taken to the floor, maybe a tip from Elle, the last one to witness Moe’s whereabouts.  David started up and down the pews behind ours (fortunately their occupants were in line) scoping the ground for our slithery snake of a son.  Moe was about half a church back.  Under a pew.

Attention church building committees everywhere:  The best pews in the world are full back, full bottom.  That means if Mom and Dad bookend a pew, there’s no way the kids in the middle can escape.

Moe didn’t come easily.  As I walked up to receive Jesus, I passed David wrestling Moe out from some other poor family’s pew.

Argh.

The homily today was on how we’re called to be radical.  It’s bananas to think about lions and calves being friends, as mentioned in the first reading.  About peace in the world as mentioned in the psalm.  But we’re called to live radically today.  We’re not called to be comfortable.  We’re supposed to John-the-Baptist-it-up.

During the homily I was thinking about the radical actions of Kelly hosting orphans over Christmas.  And Crystal supporting efforts in South Africa.  I was thinking about Reece’s Rainbow and how it still tugs at my heart.  I was wondering how my little family is called to live radically, imagining grand opportunities for service.

Then I witnessed The Great Pew Slither of 2016.

Argh.

Turns out that attending Mass as a family is actually pretty radical.  It hurts.  It takes sacrifice.  It’s humiliating.  But it does witness to the fact that we think this is the most important thing we could be doing.  Maybe my life is a billboard to inspire other families to think, “Hey!  Maybe I *could* bring my kid to Mass.  He can’t be any worse than that kid slithering under the pews.”

Maybe we should get t-shirts.  “The Schoney Family:  Making your kids look good at Mass since 2008.”

I guess my conclusion is that we need to be open to the radical-ness that we’re called to.  We can’t all just sell our houses and become missionaries in Haiti.  Even if it seems cooler or more important than the mission we’ve been given.

This week is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, a holy day of obligation.  An additional opportunity to embrace the radical life we’ve been called to.  We’ll be at Mass as a family.  We probably won’t have bells on, but maybe we can have those matching tshirts ready by then.

11 Comments


  1. // Reply

    You and your family are, indeed, living a “radical” life, which means you are living your vocation to the fullest! And, someday, I pray you will be able to look back on this sanctifying days fondly – because they *are* sanctifying all of you!!

    And, kudos to Moe for moving so quickly!


  2. // Reply

    I’m pretty sure that our unique (or maybe not so unique!) apostolate is “be that family with the crazy kids so other families feel better about their kids” – pew slithering and all 😉


    1. // Reply

      I guess the “increasing other people’s self-esteem” apostolate isn’t the worst…


  3. // Reply

    Oh dear! I only have 2 but I know what you mean… can you make a t-shirt for our family too? 😉


    1. // Reply

      Haha! It’s nice to know we’re not alone in our Masscapades.


  4. // Reply

    As a Protestant considering converting, one of the things that always intimidates me is having to take my two toddler boys (with another on the way) to Mass! I can only imagine the disruption they would cause… so your stories of real life experiences with that gives me some hope 🙂 If you can do it, and keep doing it, and not give up, surely we could manage it too, someday 🙂


  5. // Reply

    Due to scheduling conflicts, it looks like I’ll need to do a morning mass with the kids solo on Thursday. Pray for each other? 🙂


  6. // Reply

    I know it can be stressful to the parents when small children act up during Mass (been there, done that, will be doing it again in a couple of years), but I love seeing all the spirited littles at Mass. 🙂


  7. // Reply

    Hahaha! Oh my goodness, I’m sorry, but . . .. you tell the story so well, it gives a good laugh. Our priest always says how much he loves seeing the kids in Mass and “scurrying”. God Bless You! We have one and he makes Mass going an adventure to say the least!


  8. // Reply

    This is cracking me up! Our kids have made a mad dash from the front pew straight down the aisle, much to the amusement of the rest of the families on our church! Our current struggle is our 2yo floppy girl. She wriggles and dances in my arms the whole hour! Even our priest laughs at how crazy and spirited she is ?

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