Leaving

We fly out early Sunday morning.

I’ve done my best to be sing-song-y cheerful to Cee about it.  The food we’ll eat (chili fo’ sure!).  The places we’ll go (the 2nd oldest zoo in the country!).  The amount of books she’ll be able to read (a whole carry-on dedicated to books!).  The way Cee will be able to start a big puzzle when we arrive at the hotel and not have to pick it up until we check out.

But it’s a lie.

It’s an elaborate lie.  Maybe it’s more just general deception than lying.

David and I are dreading the trip.  The appointment.  The knowing.

There’s hope in the uncertainty.  Until we actually go see The Guy in SJIA, we have hope that there are options available.  Once we go, though, that’s it.  We’ve reached the end of the line.

This video pretty much sums up life.  We break down.  We get up.  We move on.  We do our best to treat each day as a gift.

Cee’s Usborne party is still rollin'(there’s still time to participate), and we’ve received several activities she’s already picked out to take along on the trip.  She is excited.  She can’t wait to break in to the sticker books and the painting books.  She can’t wait to leave.

“Only two more days!!!” she said excitedly as the kids were getting ready for bed.  My heart sank.  We leave in two days.

Mass can’t come soon enough this week.  The pause.  The connection with something more.  We need it.  Our flight is so early that we’ll go to Mass Saturday night, so that means less of a wait.

We’ll go and pretend that we’re not peeing our pants with worry.  And we’ll leave, hopefully *not* peeing our pants with worry.  That’s Mass.  Helping people maintain control of bodily fluids for 2,000 years.

Maybe that’s not the best tagline.  (Plus, for the poor kid who sat behind us a couple months ago at church and loudly lost his cookies, it’s not exactly true.)  At any rate, we appreciate the prayers and support of family and friends near and far as the appointment approaches.  Tuesday morning.  The appointment is Tuesday morning.  Tuesday will come and go, and then we’ll be leaving again.  Leaving for home.  To return to our regular life.  Maybe it will be just the same as it has been.  Maybe there will be big changes.

We’ve talked about the possibility of moving to Cincinnati (probably the northern Kentucky area) in order to be closer to this doctor.  If things go well, if we need to be making lots of regular trips– that might become a real possibility.  It’s an odd thought for me.  Aside from college, I’ve always lived in the same town.  My extended family is all within an arm’s reach.  David’s parents are little further, yet still close.  David loves his job.  We built our house a few years ago.  But we’re ready to leave it all if we need to.

Leaving.

Unfortunately this trip is about a lot more than chili.

 

 

 

 

 

If you missed it, there’s a whole post to respond to the “Let us know if you need anything” offers.  We do need.  We need prayers that we can keep our spirits up and Cee has a nice trip– regardless of the results.  We need prayers that whatever happens, we’ll get through it.  We need prayers for wisdom in discerning the best options.  Thank you to all who are keeping us in prayer. <3