December Cee

Whenever Cee throws a fit in front of doctors or other people, I’ve been wishing they could meet December Cee —  Cee before she was sick.  December Cee answered questions politely and loved to tell people how butterflies use their proboscis to drain nectar from flowers.  She smiled at strangers and told terrible knock knock jokes.  (Knock, knock.  Who’s there?  Bathtub.  Bathtub who?  Towels!)  She ate oatmeal and apples and chicken without complaining, but refused to eat anything green.

Now April Cee is here.  In some ways she’s like December Cee.  She likes watching Mister Roger’s and reading books.  She likes painting pictures of Mary.  But in many ways she’s completely different.  She acts out in public.  She doesn’t answer questions or smile at people unless she’s feeling really well.  She throws tantrums over little things.  She never pretends to be a ballerina.

The last time I was lamenting my December Cee being gone, though, I stopped myself.  December Cee isn’t coming back.  She’s changed forever since she got sick, and so have we.

And so I have a favor to ask of you.  You can help by treating her just like December Cee.  But please don’t be offended if she doesn’t respond or make eye contact.  Please don’t hold it against her if she gets upset.  Months of pain and a loss of control have made it difficult for her to trust.  She’s just so tired–you can see it in her eyes and her frail little body.

Hopefully, little by little we can help her blossom into July Cee, who is able to enjoy life again.  But for now, we need help loving our April Cee.