A Mother’s Worst Nightmare

I have so many lovely things I want to write about…

…a trip to the Shrine of Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini!
…all our fun from Yellowstone!
…all our fun from the Black Hills!
…the contents of our Morning Basket!
…updates on Cee’s SOJIA!
But I can’t.

I’m having a hard time breathing. I don’t think my heart or mind can move on until I type out all my thoughts.

 

While we were on vacation, I saw the news that the Jacob Wetterling cold-case had finally been solved. For anyone who wants the full story, you can find that here. The gist is that 27 years ago, a little boy from rural Minnesota disappeared. The investigation has been ongoing, but no leads turned in to answers. Until just recently.

In order to avoid more serious charges, the kidnapper confessed and lead authorities to the remains of the little boy.

I shouldn’t have read any more details. I should have stopped with “the case has been solved.” But I couldn’t.

I am invested in this story for several reasons.  David and I met and attended college near the site of the disappearance. We are only a few years younger than Jacob would be.  We have young children.  All these factors play in to my curiosity.

 
Oh friends, how I grieve for the little boy who faced such horror.  How I grieve for the family and friends who have been trying to balance hope and despair for almost three decades.   How I grieve for a world in which this happens.

I am beyond sorry for the Wetterling family. The thought of one of my own children enduring what Jacob did— too many tears and too little sleep over the last few days are the result of that thought.

Could you take a moment to pray for Jacob’s family and for all victims of sexual abuse?  And for anyone struggling with pedophilial thoughts to find help?

……………..

I made the mistake of reading the comments on several articles. Many are united in sorrow. Many shout for the death penalty and worse for the perpetrator. All the comments are hard to read.

But.

But.

Am I the only one who sees the elephant in the room? There wasn’t a single comment about what seems to be a big part of this whole mess of a situation.

Pornography.

This perpetrator was involved in child pornography.

I don’t know if pedophilia is something like eye color– something you genetically cannot alter, habits– something you can change with effort, or alcoholism– some mixture of genetic propensity and external stimulus.

Regardless of the cause, it’s understood that pornography works like a drug.  A drug that over time requires novel or unique stimulus in order to reach the same level of euphoria.  Did that gradual shift happen in this case?

It’s not difficult to see how this rabbit hole could lead to what anyone rational would call unimaginable.

I’m not even spell-swearing. I am regular swearing.

Damn it all to hell, there is no innocent pornography.

I could point to a bajillion articles from faith-based sources like Focus on the Family about the ills of pornography.  Obviously sources like that are going to be completely against it.  But when Pamela Anderson (yes, that Pamela Anderson) has a change of heart about pornography, perhaps it means something.

I don’t have any answers.  I don’t have any conclusions.  I am saddened beyond measure by this tragedy and am left with this slightly nauseous-feeling dread about the whole situation.  I don’t like feeling helpless.

Besides praying, I can only do so much as far as guarding my children’s innocence.  A while back, Mama Loves Coffee did a series on Porn Proofing Our Kids (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) that was empowering in this discussion.  If like me you’re looking for a practical way to approach the topic of pornography with your children, these posts are worth the read.

I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I can’t tie this all together with a little joke.  A little funny story.  All I can do is close with a prayer.

Lord, have mercy on us.